I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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