For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Randomize
