Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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