dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
he shaved USA in his pubs
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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