She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
