Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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