Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
