I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
All the doctor said was why
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
