Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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