My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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