He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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