No stitches, just platelets and will power
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
