yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He passed out mid-signature
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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