I bet he comes in French.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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