i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
