Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
