Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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