Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
