u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
