I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
