I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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