u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
