I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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