I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
