i just wanna soil my oats bro
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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