I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
