Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
