she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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