She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
