Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
