The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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