I am in a vortex of obligation.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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