We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's blow job season.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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