omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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