Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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