I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He did a backflip because drugs
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
