When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
