i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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