Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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