Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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