38 yer olds are good kisserssss
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
