you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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