cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
