he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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