:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
