that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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