I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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