Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
