and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
