I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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