Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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